i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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