i barfeds in our rink
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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