Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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