The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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