You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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