Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.