If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
