i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
