It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
