.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
