I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
