My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
