I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
