3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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