Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.