Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize