dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
