i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
