'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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