Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
there is glitter all over my balls
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
