I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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