I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think I am morally bankrupt
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
