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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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