I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
