I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
As shirtless as possible
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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