how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
