After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
