She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
