scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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