Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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