Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
