The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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