He told me they were just razor bumps!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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