Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize