Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
