they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
