Me too!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
