I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
