I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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