If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
