:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
