you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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