My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
