sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Semen is not good for contacts.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
