clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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