I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
