You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Randomize
