Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
