Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
