Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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