There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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