No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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