dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
