i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
