your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
