Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
