there's paper in my vomit.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
