I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize