Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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