he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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