I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
