Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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