When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
